Looking Young vs. Looking Good
That’s me in the picture, in my dressing room getting ready to go to a party. I never really think that I look the way I appear in photographs. Maybe the mirror really does show you what you want or expect to see.
Recently, my mirror told me something new — or so I thought. I noticed that I had a little bit of skin hanging from my neck. I became obsessed with this, realizing that the inevitable had begun – noticeable aging. I began looking at myself in my bathroom mirror from every possible angle, using a hand mirror and, at times, my incredibly magical, magnifying mirror in order to view this piece of rooster skin and determine how bad the damage already was and how it affected my overall appearance.
I began to notice this part of my anatomy in photographs and no longer only worried about my how chubby my arms were looking in every picture. The small line between my eyebrows became less important to me because this neck problem seemed to signify so much, to me and in society.
Then a few months after my initial wobbly neck realization, I was cleaning the shelves in my older son’s room and began looking at a photo cube of pictures taken about 11 years ago when I was a young mom. To my amazement, I had also had a bit of wobbly skin on my neck back then but had never noticed or cared about it. In my early 30’s I never thought about wrinkles or aging.
The lesson: we notice what we determine to be negative about ourselves simply because we have determined it to be negative. Or, look for something and surely you will find it!
Why must women “work” to look younger? There’s a new book in print that has been touted in many news articles and on television programs aimed at middle-aged women. The book tells women how to cut their hair, dress and apply their makeup so that they will look younger. How wonderful! We all need bangs and jeans so that everyone around us will believe that we aren’t really 40 or 45 or even 55 but maybe they will believe us to be 35 or younger.
My goal is simply to look and feel great. If I look my age but I look wonderful, that’s okay. If I appear younger because of someone else’s perception of what 45 looks like, okay. But I won’t cut bangs — I look really bad with bangs but think they’re great on some faces – and I won’t wear jeans everyday or even the right cardigan because they make me look younger. I will wear jeans that are chic and comfortable and don’t give me a bigger tushy than I already have. I will work out, eat well and stay active to maintain a healthy glow, a balanced mind and a strong body. But, I won’t make looking younger my greatest goal.
And you shouldn’t either.